Author: Dawn

Some days, it feels like I’m walking through life under a thick, gray blanket of sadness—a soft but heavy weight pressing against my chest, dulling even the brightest colors around me. It’s not always dramatic. Often, it’s quiet. Lingering. Familiar. Like a rain cloud that’s made a home above my head, following me even into…

Grief has many faces. Some loud and angry, some quiet and aching. But one of the most unsettling ones, the one that creeps in when everything else is still, is the fear of forgetting. I don’t talk about it as often. Maybe because it feels disloyal to even whisper it out loud. But it’s there.…

Everyone says the firsts are hard. It’s only been two months since we lost you and here we are at one of those firsts. The last maybe ten days have been filled with more tears than I knew I could shed. I have grappled with so many emotions. I have wanted to throw things, tear…

You can’t fix this. I can’t fix this. No one can fix this. My heart is forever broken and this ache in my chest is just one of many symptoms. Can’t turn back the clock, can’t take it back, there is no second chance, no do over. I feel hollow, like an abandoned building. Wrecked…

It’s when the lights go out and everything is still…these are the moments that hurt the most. When I reflect back on the day and think about how much I wish you had been there to be a part of the day. This is when I can no longer hold back the tears. I fill…

I think it’s hard for others to imagine what it looks like in the life of someone who has lost someone as close as my Joshua. Thinking back on the times I’ve known others who lost a child or a spouse, I can honestly say I just didn’t know. This is not a reality anyone…

It has been five long weeks since Joshua has been gone from this world. Every morning is like a new kick in the face when awaking to that reality again. While it’s been hard and sad, I have reflected with family and friends on many of the beautiful memories we were able to create with…

I have processed and ruminated and rolled things around until you would think there was nothing left to think about. While it’s exhausting, it’s necessary. My therapist told me today that we have to do this. It’s part of the process. It won’t stop until we start to come to a place where certain things…

I’ve started reading The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD. I’m already intrigued. I’ll share as I delve into it but in case anyone else wants to check it out, I wanted to share this here.

Mornings are hard. Each one is like a new kick in the face as I wake up to the reality that you are gone, again. Again and again. I relive the reality every single day. I want to call you. I want to text you. I want to ask you to come over. And yes,…