On December 20, 2024 I received the call that no parent ever wants. My 22 year old son, Joshua, had taken his own life. A roller coaster of shock, numbness, sadness, anger, and so much more followed in the hours and days after. This indescribable level of grief consumes me much of the time. I never imagined this heartache even existed. While the grief and this process is still very fresh and raw, I spent the weeks since Joshua’s death processing and ruminating and searching for answers. Some of the mysteries surrounding this tragic loss will never be solved. But I believe his story deserves to be told and sharing my journey will provide a path for healing and opportunity to help others. I invite others to join me in the hopes of honoring Joshua while finding solace in the fact that we do not walk this painful road alone.
Joshua’s mom, Dawn
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About Joshua
Joshua loved spending time outdoors hunting, camping, hiking, kayaking and to say he was an accomplished fisherman would not do him justice. He was passionate about fishing and fished many areas in Mississippi and Arkansas. Joshua was most fond of fishing below the dam at Greers Ferry Lake on the Little Red River. He loved to share his catches, spend time with others teaching them to fish, and just hang out throwing the line in the river.
Joshua was a caring son, brother, uncle, and friend who loved his friends openly and deeply with his whole heart and his family deeper still, always looking out for others. Joshua’s closest friends described him as the most outgoing, very goofy, and always honest no matter what they were up to. His co-workers knew him as a hard worker with a heart of excellence. He loved his employees and coworkers and they loved him. His joyful spirit was contagious, and many referred to him as a work son or work brother. His family knew him as the uncle and brother that all of the kids loved and he loved them fiercely in return, always making time to play with them. His younger siblings affectionately nicknamed him JahJah. Joshua could always light up any room, everyone knew when Joshua was present. His smile and laughter were infectious. While he will be deeply missed, Joshua definitely left a legacy that will never be forgotten.
“Casting the Line”
While serving as a metaphor for seeking and searching, fishing is a sport of patience, endurance, wandering, waiting, and even solace. Casting a line holds significance not only to the legacy of Joshua’s life but also to this process of navigating the strange and uncertain waters of grief.